I can't stress to you enough how tired, frustrated, enraged, depressed, fed up, and indifferent I am about the travel industry, Passenger "Bill of Rights", Jet Blue, United, New York airports, and humanity.
The basic moral of this story, which I'll provide before I go on my rant, is only this:
MOVE TO THE WOODS AND BECOME A HERMIT! SHUN ALL HUMAN CONTACT, THROW AWAY YOUR IPODS, AND LIVE OFF OF THE LAND.
Yeah, so I was supposed to be flying from Washington Dulles Airport on a Jet Blue flight to JFK, then connecting to Chicago O'Hare. I had planned to arrive on time in Chicago at 10:30 PM and be picked up by the owner of the First 40.7 Mojo, and brought to the boat where I will be staying this weekend, and racing on for the Chicago NOOD. Call time at the boat for the whole crew is 7:30 AM, Friday June 19. The first gun is at 10 AM.
My flight at Dulles was delayed TWO hours on the runway because of weather problems in New York. The pilot came on the speaker several times during the delay to assure us that all flights out of JFK were delayed, and that they were monitoring the situations with our connections. He said that if they were at risk of anyone missing their connection, they would pull back to the gate to figure out an alternate route for that passenger. The two hours passed. He finally says that we'll be taking off soon, and that we'll be arriving at around 9 something, and that the closest flight for people was one to New Orleans, which was supposed to have taken off at 8:35 but was delayed allowing them a window of 15 minutes to get to their gate, which was two gates away from where we would pull in. I look at my ticket, which said that my flight would be leaving JFK at 8:30. Trusting them (HUGE MISTAKE), I assumed that my flight was also delayed, and that i would make the connection and eventually get to Chicago around midnight. I was wrong. I called the owner of the boat and informed him, that I would get in on the delayed flight at an estimated midnight. I was wrong.
When we arrived in NY, I went to look at the board, expecting to see a delayed box next to the Jet Blue flight to chicago. There was no chicago flight on the board. It was around 9 PM. I go to the counter and ask why it is not on the board. They inform me that the flight left ON MOTHERFUCKING TIME. Livid, I ask them how the flight crew could openly lie to passengers like that. I could have arranged other flights. I needed to be in NY. I didnt have time to fuck around with new connections. The next jet blue flight from JFK to Chicago left the next morning getting in at 11 am. The first gun would be at 10 am. Call time at the boat is 7:30 am. WHAT THE FUCK? HOW CAN A GOD DAMN COMPANY OPERATE LIKE THIS? I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF IT IS TOO LATE TO CALL THE PLANE BACK! YOU PIECES OF RAT SHIT LIED WHILE I SAT IN MY GOD DAMN SEAT!
I expressed these sentiments in a much more controlled and constructive manner, though I was tempted to string the guy up by his jet blue lanyard. He apologized, and said he would look for other options.
That was the last flight to Chicago.
What about other NY airports? No flights going to Chicago from around here tonight.
What about cities near chicago? The closest you could get is Buffalo.
Can you find me a train? Let me look..........earliest train would get you there at 11 am.
Look, I need your help to find a solution here. Can you do anything? Well, there is a flight out of La Guardia on United that will get you there at 7:20 am.
Can you please book that for me? No, that is a United flight.
What does that mean? You have to buy a United ticket.
You mean, because of your company's incompetence, I have to buy ANOTHER ticket to get to where I was supposed to already be nearly 12 hours before? Yes sir, I cannot book the flight, I can only tell you that it exists.
(Stewardess from my flight walks up)
Excuse me ma'am, you were the stewardess on my flight from Dulles. Why did the captain say that no connections would be missed? I missed mine. HOW can you openly lie to passengers like that?
It wasn't me who said it, it was the captain.
I am not playing the semantics game. YOU are the face of the airline while I am on your plane. I don't see the captain. I see you. You see me. His voice might as well come out of you. YOU lied to me. YOU being the captain. YOU being the airline. YOU are going to make me late to my regatta. YOU need to fix this. I want to speak to a supervisor.
(Counter guy chimes back in) Sir, I am the supervisor.
Jesus Christ. Fine, I'll have to go solve this shit myself. You all are the worst god damn flight crew I have ever experienced, and I've flown on Ethiopian Air.
SO, I get on my computer and look to buy a United flight. I call them. They set me up with a $99 one way ticket from LGA to O'Hare for 6 am. Great. Now i just need to get my bag and head to LGA. Cabs there are only $30. Shuttle is less, but doesnt run after 10 pm or before 8 am. Whatever. I get the confirmation email from United. THEY BOOKED A JULY 19th FLIGHT. ()*^)()(*!@#*%^!@$&!@&*#^(*&
I get back on the phone with them. The June 19th flight is $304. Of course.
I book that flight.
I go to get my back from the baggage service people. They inform me that it will be put on the next Jet Blue flight to Chicago. I explain if I wanted that, I would also go on that flight, arriving at 11 am. I need my bag, and the contents of my bag, at 7:30 am.
They inform me that because of the weather and being undermanned, they cannot pull my bag. I inform them that they WILL pull my bag.
They do. It takes them two hours, but finally they do.
So now I'm in La Guardia. Sitting on my bag. The counters are closed. The stores are closed. I haven't eaten anything since lunch. I've had a small bottle of water and a diet coke. There are no benches to lay down on. There is a food court downstairs, but most of it is roped off and the part that isnt looks like a mall food court. I'm literally sitting on my bad, leaning up against a pillar, at the front of the united ticketing line typing.
&(*&()*&)(*^!@#^%!*%$&!@%!^@)(*!@&#)(*&!@#_!)
This was the perfect storm of incompetence.
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